While I was in New Zealand something miraculous happened. Okay, not miraculous, but a huge professional achievement. The Huffington Post reached out to me. They liked my writing so much they asked to syndicate it. Literally overnight, my audience grew from 150,000 to 8 Million…and that’s just on their Facebook page. That’s a crazy amount of people to have the potential to reach. It’s still hard to fathom that that many people might care about what I have to say, and to be honest, it scares me more than anything. I have a platform. I can be meaningful with my words, perhaps focus on something other than the great American listicle. With great power comes great responsibility, right? But alas, everything’s a double-edged sword. The bigger the stage, the more you open yourself up to criticism.

Trust me, Internet trolls are not new to me. I’ve been called everything from the B word to the C word to receiving death threats aplenty (over brunch articles, mind you). I’ve developed a thick skin for random hollow insults. Trolls will be trolls. This was different.

The article in question is entitled, Why I Blame Travel For Ruining My Love Life. It’s not entirely factual, but it’s not entirely fiction either. As someone whose entire life is virtually online, that’s the version of me I want you to see. Have I ever had a relationship end because of my lifestyle? Of course not. Has it been more challenging to meet people and develop something sustainable? Yes, there’s no question it strains potential relationships. It’s embellished for the sake of storytelling, but it’s plausible. This guy, however, cut right through all the BS. Destroyed my carefully crafted wall in a matter of seconds. And whether that’s just my internet persona or not, it hit a little too close to home. Thanks dude. Nail. Head.

Travel didn’t ruin her love life. Her lack of desire for love did.

Ouch. I’m not even sure it was meant to be an insult. It just so succinctly and eloquently summed up what I’ve possibly been denying for so long. Is he right? Could a complete stranger psychoanalyze me that well? Are my motivations that transparent?

Travel is 100% my escape. But maybe I do need to take a good hard look at what I’m running from.

As for HuffPo, I’m pretty stoked to see where it goes, but I still have my sights set on the Times. Someday. 🙂

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2 replies
  1. Heather
    Heather says:

    I really appreciate you sharing this. I think what cuts the deepest is when people question the parts of ourselves that we aren’t sure about and it’s hard to admit that, even to yourself.

    When I was living abroad people would cast their judgements, as they do, but it only bothered me when they’d assume things about me based on my choice to live the (glorious) expat lifestyle I was living. I bounced around a bit and wondered if I’d ever like one place more than another enough to feel at home and settle into it. It then felt pretty shitty when my dad asked me if I’d ever be happy with a place, especially coming from a family member but also because he nailed what I was internally worried about myself. For the record, I live in Brooklyn now and couldn’t be happier!

    Thanks for being so bold as to share this with the world!

  2. Kati from Ms B Travels
    Kati from Ms B Travels says:

    Wow. This is incredible. Thank you for being so bold as to open this up. I have dealt with a lot in life and sometimes traveling is my escape from the busyness, sometimes from work, and a lot of times from reasons I don’t really know. I always use travel as my excuse of why I should not date. I am “busy” traveling, writing, exploring. I am not a full time traveler – a teacher in my “real life” , but every moment I can, I am out on adventures. Anyways, thank you for sharing your thoughts in this raw and real post.


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